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Beyond the Checklist: Why Happiness Should Be Our True Measure of Success

Writer's picture: Sondra BordenSondra Borden


In this whirlwind era where every tick of the clock seems to usher in a new deadline or demand, our chats often circle back to a familiar checklist of life's so-called successes. Career leaps, marital status, and the bricks that build the homes we own seem to dominate our discussions, laying out a path many believe leads to fulfillment.


"What’s your job?"


"Are you married?"


"Do you own your house?"


These queries ricochet around cafes, family gatherings, and online forums, painting a portrait of societal achievement.


But there's one question that, though it often lingers just beneath the surface, rarely breaks through into our conversations:


"Are you happy?"


Why do we fixate on these specific milestones as if collecting them could build the perfect life? This obsession might be rooted in visibility. Career achievements, marriage, and homes are visible markers of status that can be easily compared and measured. Happiness, however, is nebulous. It doesn't lend itself to straightforward measurement and certainly isn't something you can easily showcase or compare.


Yet, imagine a world where our first concern about a person's wellbeing centers on their happiness rather than their marital status or the square footage of their living room. Shifting our focus in this way could reframe our personal aspirations and societal values, possibly leading to lives filled with more joy and less pressure to conform to prescribed norms.


Consider a different approach to our conversations and, by extension, our lives. What if we started asking our friends,


"What’s made you smile lately?"


instead of, "How’s work going?"





This simple pivot could encourage us to celebrate the small, everyday joys that make life truly rich but often go unnoticed amidst the clamor for more traditional achievements.

Furthermore, prioritizing happiness might also lead us to support each other’s emotional and mental well-being with the same enthusiasm we currently reserve for promotions or engagements. It could foster a community where individuals feel valued not for what they achieve but for who they are and how they feel.


So next time you catch up with someone, try tossing the usual script out the window.

Ask about their recent moments of joy, their passions, or what they're looking forward to.


You might just find that these conversations, rich with genuine curiosity and care, lead to deeper connections than any discussion of job titles or property deeds ever could.


By refocusing our societal lens from the tangible to the intangible, from external achievements to internal satisfaction, we not only challenge the status quo but also open up a space where genuine contentment has the room to bloom. After all, at the end of the day, it's not the job titles we hold or the houses we own that define our deepest joys but the laughter we share, the peace we cultivate, and the love we foster.


Let's not wait for another study to tell us that happiness doesn't reside in the corner office or within the walls of a grand estate. Let's start that conversation today, because happiness, as elusive and intangible as it may seem, is perhaps the most real and consequential achievement of all.





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